Saturday, June 10, 2006 Y
i'm freaking bored ~~ i had my last paper this afternoon.. wat am i fucking doing now?!? at home rotting and updating blog at this hour !!
i was supposed to go chillz !! go dance !! go shake !! go clubbing !!
though jun dun like me go clubbing la.. but then ah.. i'll go all the way to fight for my rights man~ not that i'm not a gd gf, ok.. i admit, at times i was mean la.. hee.. but then ah.. i juz got the license to walk into zouk officially on the 26 feb 2006.. i wanna enjoy my life to the fullest u c..
i asked him last night..
me: "u dun like me go club ah?"
jun: "who would like own gf go club?"
me: "but if i dun go now, do u wan me to get married n have kids alr den go club?"
ok.. i know his stand.. but shouldnt he like, spare a thot for me too?? i wasnt saying he wasnt a gd bf, in fact.. he can be sweet at times..
though he would feel jealous when i'm with victor n sean, but after a while he'll ok le.. for eg, that time i watched xmen with sean n victor, he reminded me that after all the acknowledgements stil got a short part, n asked me to enjoy my show, or another time when i was out with my frens, he would stil sms n ask me enjoy..
it was a simple sms, but i felt that he reali wan me to be enjoy myself..
i wanted to tell him.. i dun wanna live with regrets.. we live once everyday, i cant go back to ytd.. i wanna enjoy myself everyday to the fullest.. if i dun enjoy now, i dun wan myself to say " wah kao, should have done this this this......" oh pls, we cant turn back time..
sometimes the way he talked should change a little ah.. how to say ne.. for eg, that time i went zouk.. i know he dun approve me go clubbing la.. but it was a last min thing.. n initially i alr told him i'll be going pub... i dun think he should like give me those tone.. i mean, if i were him, even if i was angry, i would also.. "ok, go enjoy urself ".. rather den "ok lo, u wan go jiu go lo, i cant stop u also.."
nb.. this kind of tone stil ask me how to enjoy xia qu.. of coz my mood will be spoiled la.. but in order not to be a spoilsport, i stil have to fake a smile n give them the "enjoying" look.. fuck lo.. mood spoil = jie jiu xiao chou..
i dun like him asking me abt clubbing.. coz i know the tone will be fucking cb, n we'll eventually attitude each other.. ask me if got guys ask for my num.. if i reply no, den he'll think i bluff, if i say yes den he'll not happy.. den wat should i reply? dun ask den.. juz ask me whther i had fun jiu hao le..
i'm stil young, VERY YOUNG.. i reali wanna live everyday with joy.. i wanna enjoy every mins n secs whenever i can..
how can i get it thru his head that i reali wan to enjoy n do watever i reali like to do...
1:07 AM -
hearts