Thursday, July 27, 2006 Y
on the way home.. alone on the bus.. i forgot the definition of Friends.. can someone pls explain to me?
izzit the 1st one who came into ur mind when u wanna share ur gd news ?
izzit the 1st one who came into ur mind when u need a shoulder?
izzit the one u always hang out with?
izzit the one who would accept the way u r?
izzit the one who accepts u, including ur bad points?
i duno.. i've been in the confused manner since.... few wks ago? i'm going to type out my feelings boldly in my blog now..
i cant be exactly neutral.. becoz i've once close contact with either one.. i do not wish to lose either one.. but given this situation, i reali duno wat to do.. ppl always tell me, juz be with the ones whom u feel confortable with.. the prob is, i'm ok with both.. juz that perhaps it was some things which happened recently which drifted us more apart den before..
sometimes i was thinking.. since i started out with the duabin group, shouldnt we stick tgt thruout the 3 yrs? isnt it better this way? or learn to be joel? or guowen? who keep themselves busy in their own world..
but i know i cant.. laine wouldnt be able to follow our pace.. 1stly is our expenses.. 2ndly, is our momentum not the same.. we club, we stay out late.. if laine wanna follow our pace, also meaning she's changing.. from the guai little ger to rebellious ah kum.. i also dun wish to c this change in her.. though she might not be influenced by us, but eventually she'll stil change to be a little rebellious ah kum..
i wont be able to balance my time well.. as much as i wanna be with the bitress.. as much as i wanna be with duabin's grp, as much as i wanna be able to hang out with sherman's grp.. all is not possible.. n i know the reason y..
once close, den drift apart.. this is happening in my life all the while.. i know that, i juz dun wanna accept that and give myself all sorts of reasons like they r busy with their own stuff and eventually one day we'll meet up.. this is crap..
i'm sorry becoz i've chosen the bitress.. i know some might think that laine n me were ridiculous.. after the blog thing happened, y would we stil choose them? 1stly, becoz we find it difficult to face u guys becoz of the broke up.. 2ndly, we talked things out with the bitress.. 3rdly, i'm feeling guilty becoz i was the one who brought laine in, den i felt the awkwardness and left..
i duno y i would have the courage to post this, but this isnt time to avoid anymore.. coz i wanna to let u know, i reali treasure the times when we had dinner at bugis and chatted till the last train came.. i reali treasure the times when u became my counsellor.. i reali treasure the times when we went for dinner at cineleisure.. i reali treasure the times when we went to the zoo..
11:07 PM -
hearts