Monday, September 25, 2006 Y
these few days had been vert stressful to me.. not in terms of workload.. in terms of emotionally..
i juz returned from a dinner with wenjun.. too many things have happened.. i dun c the point to keep them in my heart alr.. i shall blog them all out..
this thursday actually i'll be flying to thailand for holz.. with wenjun and his 7 frens.. but then.. something happened over there, so my mother strongly fan dui me to go.. but it's ok la.. coz frankly speaking, i'm not as eager to go ther compared to him frens..
two of his frens, jh and jm have been the one contributed alot to this trip.. as in, they helped to check the prices for accomodation, transport, meals and the places of interest.. they even planned the schedule out so that we wont waste even one min over there.. i mean.. maybe the motive of some of them going there is different.. like some go ther only for the sake of shopping, but some of them go there not only shoppping, but also visit the mesuems bla bla bla.. so there's bound to be arguments among them..
but their arguments.. not openly expressed.. i know sometimes wenjun can be very jian in his words.. n reali, he speaks without using brain.. n becoz of that.. jm and jh not happy with him.. but this is udstable.. for eg.. if i'm either of them.. i planned until so xinku, den wenjun only use mouth without actions, only give silly and awful comments, of coz i'll be du lan la.. dun say them xiao qi, even if i everything also anything de.. i also will be angry with him la..
sometimes we went out when he's having duty.. i mean, i went out with his frens without him ard.. i know it was mean of us.. but then.. sometimes he reali can be spoiler ya.. not that i wanna talked bad abt my bf.. is that sometimes he reali have the power to piss us off.. when i went out with his frens.. i am more of myself.. when he's ard, i dint reali have the chance to talk to his frens? without him ard, we can glue our butt on the chair n chat for hrs.. if he's ard, he'll always "zou la zou la.." den he will always give comments like.. "jiang hua jiu bao le ah.." mayb he sees as a joke.. once or twice can la.. but everytime.. omg.. he not fan meh.. can juz ask them wat they wanna eat de ma.. say until so sarcastic hor...
well.. he do have his sweet moments la.. one cant only have flaws ma.. i admit he's fucking rich.. as soon as he got his licence, he got a car.. a lot of times, me n his frens went out till very late.. he would send them home.. to their doorstep.. i mean.. mayb not very late in the night.. like mayb when we were going home.. when's there's stil mrt or bus, he also will send them to their doorstep.. this is not a muz to do that.. but he did.. sometimes i wanna go home take my stuff.. and ya, he sent me back to amk all the way from tanah merah.. mayb when this carries on, we tend to take him for granted..
den not only that.. from ytd's outing.. a simple action from him.. can feel that he treasures his frenship with any of his frens.. for example.. we went into this particular shop which sells all the bags.. den he told jf.. "actually we should get a bag for jm from here ma, more varieties.." i mean.. sometimes he act like a mature guy, but sometimes i c him as a childish big kid.. i dun believe he cant sense that jm and jh were rather unhappy with him.. n he stil cares for him??
these few wks i've been going out movie with his frens.. with wenjun having duty.. i udst how they felt towards him.. i wanna let him know.. so that he can change his fucking attitude.. but i wasnt in any position to talk to him abt it.. den i asked jm or zm y dint they wanna let him know abt their unhappiness.. but they prefer to boycott him after thailand trip?? if i've not rem wrongly.. ya, they used boycott so that they wan him to "wake up" himself.. i dun c the point leh.. that time the bitress have nei hong, we also sat down and talk things out and now our bonds are even close.. it's not an empty shell.. got substance ok..
i now talk abt sat.. sat wenjun had duty.. n again we went out.. the 4 nice guys and 1 sub for jf.. =x kidding la.. ym also quite nice la.. so.. the nice guys, zm, reno, mj and jm.. we went to watch John Tucker Must Die.. but this is a midnight show..
i was working on sat morning.. i worked until 4 plus.. den mj called me ask me wher.. he was at bishan meeting his poly frens.. n gang hao i going home alr ma.. so he came to fetch me den tgt we went aljunied fetch ym go out.. actually i would prefer meeting jm they all la.. but with jh ard.. gan jue bu dui leh.. so i nv lor.. den we meet up alr.. went plaza singapura..
had our dinner at kfc.. n i saw this particular fren.. she's mei ting.. my pri sch fren.. i looked at her.. n she knows i'm looking at her.. but i think she dare not or she dint wanan exchange eye contact with me.. when i was in pri sch.. i'm those kinda of ah lian pattern la.. den somehow bullied her.. and i'm reali feeling very guilty towards her.. nan de i saw her.. i wanna give her a smile.. but she refused to look at me.. i was like wtf.. how mean can i be when i was in pri sch.. y lidat.. mayb she thot i wanna diao her again?? oh come on.. i was only 12 den.. the idiotic bully in pri sch.. but i'm 18 alr !! i merely wanna give her a smile..
we waited for reno to come.. when he arrived.. we walked to The Cathay shop shop.. den we went to park lane.. to this place, smth like ming ge can ting but is outdoor one.. stayed there awhile sian alr, so we walked to somewher pak pool.. i can say hor.. when we walked from douby ghaut to The Cathay, shopped at The Cathay, walked from The Cathay to ming ge can ting, from ming ge can ting to the pool centre.. mj was the one who walked next to me all the while.. he kept talking to me.. frankly ah.. i'm not used to it.. hahahaha..
he asked me this qn which reali stunned me.. "do u think i'm those kind of sentimental person?"
wtf.. isnt he the mr cool guy? i replied.. "hmm.. a little la.." n he asked again.. "do u think i'm the kind of person who cried easily.." OMG !! y is he asking me that !! den i replied.. "u lidat ask, den is yes lor.."
ok den.. at night mj and me said wanna go for a drink.. so before we went to century for our midnight movie, he went home take his stuff 1st, becoz he was gonna to stay overnight outside and he needs to book in on sun? i not sure also.. n i merely mentioned.. "aiya, forgot bring jacket, duno cold ma.." and he did ask me whther i wan.. but i said no need la.. we waited at his car for ard 30 mins.. den he came down with a jacket.. i thot it was sweet of him la..
so we went to century meet jm la.. i was happy to meet him la.. coz we will always tease each other.. den i was indecisive whther to buy popcorn, mj keep saying buy la buy la.. in the end, i also hungry ma.. so i bought lor.. mj stood beside me.. fight with me to pay.. zzz.. suan le.. let him pay lor.. he rich ma.. =x den when we walked into the cinema.. naturally i would sit with jm, coz we were rather close de ma.. den mj sat beside me.. this is when i realised.. on both occasions, he sat beside me.. last time we watch Haunted Apartments, he sat on my left and jm sat on my right.. this time is the same either..
den after movie.. aiya.. i caused jm moodswing again.. sorry ah dear.. went simpang eat prata.. jm sat beside me.. but we were smsing.. y ah.. actually i dun reali rem.. not i bo xim hor, is i reali cant rem unhappy incidents la.. =x i think is abt mj.. but know wat.. when ym and zm was discussing abt wenjun, mj sms and asked me to cheer up..
den i walked aside, called laine.. sorry ah darling, i woke u up.. but i duno who to turn to alr.. den ym told jm.. to keep a dist from me.. becoz i'm his fren's gf.. den stil say things that are not very nice for his ears la.. he does have a bad record.. n therefor, when he's particularly close to me, ther's bound to be someone to "warn" him.. but then.. wtf.. i cannot be close to a fren whom i can get along with ?? i mean.. they dun have gf wat.. i wan be close to their gf also cannot.. den how.. i'm gonna be the lonely ger who walks behind their butt??
it's being unfair to jm la, seriously.. after we went for supper.. me, mj and ym sat down and chat.. the 3 of them said go home la.. but in the end they also went chatting.. i asked ym.. "u think me n jm zou de hen jing huh.." and he said ya.. den said it's better to keep a dist.. but i was out with them the whole day.. n 10 times we walked along the street, 10 times mj walked beside me.. y did he say mj.. "oei, keep a dist from shuqin la.." nv leh.. is becoz mj got a clean record??
obviously they r against my frenship with jm.. i mean this is unfair to him la.. ok.. i did explain to them y me n jm would be so close.. is becoz i bu xiao xin let him c my blog.. since then, he became a regular of my blog.. he knew most of the things, which i dint even tell wenjun abt it.. naturally we will be close den.. but we r reali only close frens and nth else.. bin di di.. i can ans ur qn le.. is not like, not love, not crush, not infatuation, not admire.. coz we are reali close frens.. at 1st i thot i would chu kui.. i was afraid i would fall for him.. but we juz wont lai dian la.. coz juz like sean n me.. we can be close.. but then.. there wont be chemistry.. coz he got lian mu qing.. =x den whenever i'm troubled.. i would go looking for him.. i'm juz too dependent.. the most trusted person within his group of frens is him.. becoz he will voice out his dislike and explained y.. ask for mj.. he voiced out.. but in general.. he dint explained y.. and all his other frens.. like niu tou bu dui ma zui lor.. juz cannot clique la..
u dun always talk to me abt tokyo drift and those qi hua la.. sometimes i thot ur qi hua might be true de.. u know u have the ability to make me very very happy and the power to make me very very low.. it had been too many obstacles.. i treasure our frenship more, i treasure u more.. i like the way it is now.. i dun wan changes.. if one day we were to drift for watever fuck reason.. i hope we would have this memories to remind us that we have been close once.. and we would be close again..
i've thot it over la.. i dun care wat others think lor.. as long as i'm happy with wat i'm doing that's it.. if they wanna say.. suit themselves ya.. now i'm worried hor.. is that they will be going thailand this thurs.. thailand stil not safe la.. and mj isnt going as well..
ytd morning, mj sms me in the morning.. coz i told him i might be working on sun wat.. he asked me whther i was at the office.. last night, ym, mj and zm had a talk with wenjun.. they pointed out his que dian.. at night when he returned.. den he asked me.. "darling, wo de ren hen lan hor.." hmm.. from this sentence.. i knew that the 3 of them had succeeded in making him change.. n i had faith in him.. i hope his frens will also give him a 2nd chance ba...
juz now he waited for me at suntec for an hr plus.. normally he would either showed his bao qing tian or kp me.. but he dint.. he bought smth from Sasa for me and said to me.. "this gift is the starting that i'm gonna treat u better.." hmm.. that's sweet of him.. to me, he can said it out.. but i duno how he's gonna say this to his frens la.. i juz hope that all of them can be bonded together again..
wenjun + ying ming + i ta + zhen ming + reno + jin ming + jian fei + junhua + maojie
= brothers..
2:46 PM -
hearts