too many things had happened.. i duno where to start.. how to start..
fri night.. i went st james with lao da and his frens.. though i dint wanna go initially becoz there isnt a ger to acc me.. celine was not feeling well.. den too bad lor.. i asked my er jie.. and it's a mistake ~
willy called mama and asked if it's true.. and becoz of this.. they quarrelled.. i felt so bad.. i was thinking it had been ages since i last go out alone with er jie, and so i asked her along.. but.. they quarrelled..
and their marriage is now on the rocks.. since mama is not appropriate to talk to er jie, and da jie were too far away.. they mus send a representative and that's me..
i returned home from work.. den asked er jie go downstairs for supper.. after eating, we juz sat at the void deck and had a talk.. er jie is not dumb la, so i told her straight that i was the representative..
she dint admit anything.. though i keep hinting her.. she simply said, she got too many boy friends.. and that they will juz go sing k and drink..
i relate my case to her.. some kind of similar.. the only 2 differences were she's married and the ppl she needed to face were the family members.. i udst this is our own barrier.. coz.. i also have the same thinking as her..
she feels that she dun deserve willy's love, while i felt that i dun deserve his love.. though er jie's mistake might be more serious, but a mistake is stil a mistake, there's no weighing machine to weigh the seriousness okie..
i keep stressing to her, how good her hubby is.. endured all her fuckshit and stil marry her.. which guy can be so great? to forget the past and move on.. and forget means reali forget.. he's juz an extinct dinosaur can..
helping her pay for her driving lessons, giving her money to do rebonding, and perming, and i asked er jie if she's tired of her permed hair, willy sure give him money do rebonding right and she agreed..
den i asked her, if she's feeling inferior.. she said ya.. coz she felt that she had let mama down, let da jie and da jie fu.. for not completing the course of being a hairstylist.. she keep having the mindset that it was willy who caused her to be in this plight.. becoz of Cherish..
but.. this is the path she chose, i told her this.. there's no turning back.. coz.. wat if we were to die tmr and realised that there were too many things uncompleted and found urself complaining all the regrets? isnt that very wasting of time?
mama was damn sad and hurt la.. before da jie gave birth, mama was so sad when da jie promised to come back but nv turn up.. and there were times when mama told me she expected da jie not coming back..
can u imagine how i felt when i had to listen to all these? i duno how to console her.. i duno how to make her less unhappy.. i juz have to turn it as a joke to tell her.. and when mama goes work, she stil have to put in a smiling face when no one knows how pain she was deep inside..
den mama is forever worrying abt er jie.. whenever er jie got fucked up things happen.. mama will come saying, "now that i'm alive now, i stil can look after her.. if one day i were to be gone, u and da jie muz take good care of er jie ah.."
i did relate to er jie abt my case.. it reali takes a lot of courage for me to choose this path.. becoz everyone tells me i should not be doing all these things, it is wat a guy supposed to do.. juz give up.. and u can get to find a better one in the future..
but.. back to the old same saying.. wat if i dun have the future? everyone tells me that i can find a better one.. but who can guarantee i will find a better one whom i will love very much? no one..
and er jie.. she always say the one living in serangoon would be better for her.. oh pls.. she, herself told me that when a guy wanna woo a ger, of coz he will treat her good la.. if that one in serangoon is better for her, he wouldnt had a criminal record can..
den of coz i did comparison.. to prove that willy is the best.. reali la.. enduring her fuckshit and stil loves her for who she is.. this is reali wei da lor.. i told her.. "Treasure and Cherish the people you.."
she can tell me her daughter's name is Cherish, that's why.. muz show good example okie.. next time name Treasure for her next kid la..
i asked her seriously, "do u wish to have the divorce? juz answer me yes or not.." she replied though she always say wanna divorce, but she dint have the courage to do so.. come on la, such a good hubby, wher to find..
i'm glad the way we ended the conversation..
"after listening to wat u have said, i reali think i'm fortuante.."
"fuck, indeed u r fortunate okie.. u have to keep ur promise la.. the most basic one is u always say wat time come back but come back at a later time.. den dun contact ur boyfriends la.. divert more of ur time to the girlfriends.. and reali need communication btw couples.."
and yup, she agreed to change her handphone number and do wat i did.. be clear and certain of wat you wanna do.. this is the basic solution i can think of.. i'm giving her more time to think abt it.. coz her mind was blank for the whole day..
reali have to admit.. everything happens for a reason.. if not for this thing happening, 3 of us, our sisterhood wouldnt be brought closer.. if not for this thing happening, me and er jie wouldnt have sat down for a serious talk.. if not for this thing happening, er jie wouldnt have realised the good in willy.. if not for this thing happening, i wouldnt have know wat she's thinking..
things happened in a way there's good and bad.. and we all know, there's a high price to be paid..
On sat, was on a full programme with wenjun, i ta and reno for the day.. had dim sum, den went to play billard, while reno and me chatted at one side.. updating of the ger that he's chasing after.. and those causal chat..
den ying ming and aik tat came.. went to marina square.. and watched Die Hard 4 at night..
after movie went to central mall coz zhenming wanna find his ger..
3 plus.. went to amk mac for supper with wenjun, i ta and reno..
we went home.. wenjun sent me up.. i should be happy..
but.. i stil cried myself to sleep..
11:21 AM -
hearts